A CONVERSATION WITH… MADILYN BAILEY
We talked to Madilyn Bailey about her latest album, Hollywood Dead, and the reality of her life behind social media.
when did you fall in love with music?
Photo Credit: Lissyelle Laricchia
Oh, gosh, it’s cheesy but it’s true. It’s like I came out of the womb singing, “Hello world, I’m here!” I’d be running around the house, giving my parents performances but it wasn’t until I was around 13 when I realised I wanted to perform as a career. I performed at my school’s talent show and everyone was so supportive. That was the first time I realised I could write songs that emotionally connect with people. So I decided to learn instruments, sing better, and write songs. A few years later I posted my first YouTube video, and here we are!
You’re very open about the hate you’ve gotten from posting YouTube videos — whether it’s going on America’s Got Talent with a hate comment song or making a whole album (the internet made me do it) about it. What’s the internal encouragement that keeps you going?
For better or for worse, I’m an all-or-nothing person. I knew from the first video I posted that I was going to keep posting videos. I was going to get discovered, I was going to move to LA, I was going to make music because there was no other option for me. And those hate comments were shocking at first. You grow up in a town with a thousand people, you’re not used to people saying terrible things to your face. You grow a thick skin really quickly, and at some point, the hate comments stop meaning anything. And now if I find a particularly good hate comment, I’m like “This is going in the next song.” Besides, it’s incredibly good engagement with my content!
Obviously, we wish you didn’t get hate comments, but it’s good that you can turn it into something you can use for your own wins. So in this whole journey from being that little girl in your school’s talent show to right now, what would you say are some ‘butterfly effect’ moments for you?
Seeing the Hollywood sign for the first time — it was so surreal. It was my first time flying by myself so just in general being there was terrifying and exciting all at once. Another one is for sure when I was recording my cover of ‘Titanium’. The producer I was working with at the time wanted me to test my vocal range. You know, sing as loud as I can, hold the note for as long as I can, just do anything to see what we can do. It’s the moment we both realised I don’t just have a cute little acoustic voice, but I really can go the distance. I wouldn’t have discovered it without someone pushing me that day.
Your voice is certainly taking you far — especially with your new album Hollywood Dead. Your singles off the album ‘Tattoos & Therapy’ and ‘Doomsday in LA’, how do they connect to the overall story that the album is trying to tell? Why did you choose to show the world those two songs first?
So the whole album is filled with songs that I’ve written over the last half-decade or so, like right around when I came to L.A. for the first time. That’s when I learned to write a pop song, and so it just follows my whole journey in LA. But that journey mirrors anybody’s journey in life, whether you’re starting a new relationship, going to college, or getting your dream job. You start out naive and excited and then you start wondering ‘Why am I here?’ when things don’t go as planned and then there’s this moment — the Hollywood Dead moment. It’s where you let all the expectations of what you thought this experience was going to be and who you thought you would be die. You have to, in order to become who you’re really meant to be. And after death comes a grieving period, that’s where there’s an emotional and darker part of the album. But it ends with this hopeful chapter, as you understand that you had to go through everything exactly the way you did. Now you’re a better person! You’re able to start the journey again with a new perspective, and that’s where I am right now. So ‘Doomsday in LA’ is the first song of the album, but it’s actually the last song in the process. The end of the journey is sometimes the beginning, you know? You’re hopeful for the future, and here you understand why you went through what you went through to get there.
So how would you describe yourself now versus who you thought you would be?
The industry has changed so much since I moved to L.A., especially with the internet coming into play more. When I started posting YouTube videos, it wasn’t cool, but I knew I wanted to be a part of that world. Even after 14 years of posting videos, I still love it. I love that I can connect with my audience more, open my life up, and be in it all.
When I first moved to LA, I just wanted to be a pop star, be discovered, and get signed to a label. But I think as I started maturing as an artist, I realised that those things are cool, but what’s even cooler is being in control of everything I’m making. And with this latest album, and taking a look at all my music to question my own sound and style, I realised who I am at this moment in time. I can create fun pop songs, beautiful acoustic ballads, and everything in between and it’s still me. It all fits, especially on this album. You don’t have to put yourself in a specific box forever, you can do a lot of things if you find the right way to tie it together.
How does this album connect to your previous music?
If we start with the titular song ‘Hollywood Dead’, it kind of reminds me of my hate comment songs. It’s a more mature pop song, but it’s very satirical in the way it approaches ageing as a female in the music industry. Because I am a lot older than when I started. That’s how time works, but now I’m a better songwriter, a better friend, a better person in general. I spent so much of my 20s being stressed about everything, and I realised I didn’t want to do that anymore. It definitely changed how I approached everything in my life -- including my music.
There’s a line in the song where I talk about how when I was auditioning for America’s Got Talent, I met another one of the singers, Peter. He was 9 at the time, and I was like ‘My YouTube channel’s older than you!’ Like that poking-fun feeling about growing older in an industry since I’m turning 30 this year, and joking about how this industry ages you.
It’s like what I do with my hate comment songs, turning a serious topic into something easier to talk about and allowing people to see it from another perspective.
What’s something you want people to know about you that they might not?
I have a personality outside my work and music, I promise! Like I’m a huge reader, I follow all the BookTok girlies. I love Sarah J. Maas and the Throne of Glass series — I liked them before they were cool! I love video games. I stream on Saturdays on Twitch and play video games with my community on there. Games like Fortnite or Among Us are something I can play with people and just have fun even though I’m not good at them. It’s been five years of doing this, but in the last year with all my appointments and being pregnant, I haven’t been able to steam as often. I miss it and I miss talking to that group of people because I know they like me for me.
so In ‘Tattoos & Therapy’ you talk about how instead of getting drunk and texting your ex, you get a tattoo. would you also want to share any of your favourite tattoos?
I actually don’t have any tattoos — I was going to get one for the video, but I found out I was pregnant. I think that’s the best excuse to not get a tattoo! I’m sticking to the “and therapy” for now, and when I can, I’m going to get little star tattoos behind my ear to represent me, my husband, and our babies.
What’s a moment of joy that you’ve had so far in your music-making journey that you really want to share but don’t always get to?
This is the first time I’ve been asked this so I have to think, but I’d say any moment where my content can connect with a person! It never gets old when something takes off and does well and it’s so meaningful. It’s incredible to think that people’s lives are better because you’re there and you’ve made something that impacts them. People get to feel less alone and more loved because of a song you’ve made.