A CONVERSATION WITH... LUCY SPRAGGAN
Ten years after her viral X-Factor audition,
we sat down with singer-songwriter Lucy Spraggan
to talk about her journey, her memoir, and her reality.
WHEN DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH MUSIC?
I know every musician says it, but it started when I was a kid. I remember my mum had this big hi-fi system, you know, when it was like two speakers, CD in the middle and the tapes...
And I remember listening to Tracy Chapman's self-titled album in our dining room and just sitting and listening to it over and over and over again and listening to her tell these stories. I'm just being completely immersed in it, almost like I could see what she was describing.
Does Tracy Chapman, or any music you listened to when you were a kid, influence your music now?
Definitely. Her album was so descriptive and that’s influenced how I write my own music. And my mum listened to songs like Don McLean's ‘American Pie’, it’s a song that has a million and one stories in it that you can see. If you want your kids to get into music or songwriting, play their songs that tell stories they can see.
What stories do you think your music tells, especially with your new single ‘Balance’?
I think some of my songs are more self-reflective and observations. ‘Balance’ is more an observation of myself. On the album, there's a song called ‘Cocaine’ which is from the perspective of somebody whose partner goes out and parties a lot and and the person is like “I wish she loved me more than all of that.” Those are the ones where you can imagine that you're there.
That makes sense! You’ve talked on Twitter that your therapist helped you come up with ‘Balance’. Do they know that they helped you come up with the song?
My therapist’s the most humble. I recorded the song right after a session with her and I sent her the demo. And she's like “this is brilliant, but you know this is all you. You got here yourself.” But I love her, she’s really changed my life. It took a while to find her, and I don’t think people don't realize that it takes a while to find the right one.
That’s a beautiful message she gave you. If there was a message that you could take from your albums in the past or your new one, what message would each album have?
There are 7 of them, so that might take a while! I’d say the last one Choices was about authentically being yourself like in an unforgiving way. Embracing who you are, all of you are. And this new album Balances, it’s about reflecting on all of the things that make you who you are. But I guess all the albums are. They've all got a message of positivity, I suppose.
That makes sense! So, your new album, can you give us any teasers about any more songs on there, or do we have to wait until April?
So kind of my entire life, I've struggled quite badly with body dysmorphia, even more so now that I have a lower body fat percentage. This is interesting because you know, well, our brains are ridiculous. That's why there's a song called ‘Bodies’ on the album that talks about my relationship with my body. Halfway through, there’s my four-year-old niece talking about what she loves about her body. She's four. This song is for everyone! The song gets to that bit and she says like “I love my belly. My gummy bear belly.” This album covers so much more, I think it’s the deepest I’ve ever gone lyrically.
Everybody’s been asking you about working with Simon Cowell, you know, ten years after your X Factor debut. So what were the deciding factors that made you want to work with Simon?
Simon’s new venture has a different ethos, and so does Simon. Simon's one of the first people who said to me, “I think you're a fucking great songwriter and I want to push you to the next level of your career.” Whereas some people think they know Simon or they know what Simon is about. And I'm like no, I know Simon and I know what Simon's about. To have somebody so powerful and respected tell me that he thinks that I'm talented and wants to push my work... I’m like “Wow.” All I can be is honoured and privileged by that.
You said the ethos is different, what makes it so different?
Well, I think Syco Publishing was known for being a ruthless company and I've heard that, but I never worked with them. But here, like Simon asked me who I thought was talented, and right away I was like The Dunwells, and they're the best songwriters in the country. But nobody knows about them because they're from Leeds and no one cares about the North. This is about putting boots on the ground and doing stuff guerrilla style, and that's why the ethos is different. It's not using the same four songwriters for every single fucking song. Simon actually listens to me. Sometimes it makes me think, “well, I don't know why you’re asking because I don't know anything but. I'll pretend. I'll pretend I do.”
Fake it til you make it?
Yeah, that's what a man would do, so that’s what I would do.
Listen, you know more than you think you do, that's for sure.
I played my first show when I was 12, and I've been a proper professional musician for 10 years -- a whole third of my life. So I think you're right, I do. When somebody asks me about something I'm like, no, I do actually know. Just have to believe it a little more.
Exactly, you know what you're talking about. People wouldn't be asking you if they didn't think you know. Because of COVID and everything that's been going on, you haven’t been on tour in a while. So what can fans and new listeners expect from the 2023 tour?
I want people to come in feeling however they feel, and I want them to leave feeling like they can do anything in the world. We’re putting so much effort into the show like we’re planning production now. Because I want people to leave feeling super positive and feel connected to people in their lives. I experience that with my friends and I want to bring that to my show.
Yeah, that's such a beautiful way to put it. You mentioned that you've been a professional singer for a third of your life. What’s changed in your life in the last 10 years that you couldn’t have expected?
Everything. When I went on X Factor, I used to take my belongings to CX to cash them in to make my rent check... so that's definitely changed. I was poor for the first twenty years of my life, and the first ten years were especially rough. So, I still worry, I'm conditioned to worry but it's really nice to be able to sit down and acknowledge the privilege I have now. It reminds me of how I got invited to this variety club show where billionaires and millionaires donate loads of money to charity. And sitting in that room felt kind of gross because millionaires and billionaires are kind of gross. It makes me feel like I wanna do more, even if it's not monetary. I just joined this charity called Manchester Cares where they find a group of old people who are isolated in the city, especially in the gentrified areas and groups of young people and they match you up. I’m going this afternoon to play Scrabble! I have so much gratitude for the time and resources I have now so I can connect with more people.
I totally get you, I grew up on benefits so that feeling of “now I have the money, let me use it” is something you never got to do before when you’re saving every penny to live.
Exactly. You know, seeing these drunk, rich people in this room... I was just like “this is hell. This is fucking hell.” And if I ever have as much money as them, I want to give away most of it so that I don't ever become one of them.
I get you, future you will do some good. Speaking of the future, you have a memoir coming out! What’s the main focus of your memoir, how’s it going to go?
It focuses on the interesting parts of my life. Like the first time I ever got drunk, I was very very very young. Single figures young. There are the traumatic moments in my life in there too, and times where I now see that my issues with drugs and alcohol developed really early. There’s the moment when I stopped drinking which was three and a half years ago... The book is called Process because it is about the process that’s in everybody’s life. You get trauma thrown at you, you spend all your life trying to pick it off and throw it away.
How did it feel writing it, reliving that trauma? Only if you feel comfortable sharing.
We're taught to be avoidant, regardless of how confident or secure we are, avoiding those soul destroying feelings. Then when you write about it and you have to put it down, you realise how much it was on you. So there's that, but at the same time it’s still being written because there are still moments of destruction that are happening every day.
I want to take a moment to celebrate your wins, too. What’s happened, or happening, that you’re really excited but you don’t get a chance to talk about enough?
There's some stuff in the book which lots of people are going to be interested in it. Things that I've been through, and I am for the first time in my life, ready to share them. I haven’t shared them for a decade and I’m just excited about being able to speak my truth on a global level.
A really powerful feeling and action, I can't wait! One last question, if you could give yourself a message from 10 years ago, what would you say?
She just would not listen to a word I have to say. At. All. I mean, even if I said the most moving and poignant piece of advice, but I'd probably say the same in 10 years’ time. But probably that everything's going to be OK, because I think that's the message that everybody needs to hear. In my memoir, at the end of every chapter I write a letter from me now to myself in the chapter so there’s some proper inner child work going on.
It’s so heartwarming to see someone be so vulnerable on a public scale, but do you feel drained being so open all the time?
I do have to monitor my mental health. I have to journal and I have to spend some time on my own. I have to immerse myself in nature at some point, too. I'm aware that with every great response, I'm going to have, especially when the book comes out, there will be people who exploit that vulnerability. That’s challenging, so yeah... sometimes it’s draining.